I can't love you because....

Its pretty common for me to get random songs stuck in my head. And not even like the whole song but just one tiny piece or phrase that won't leave me alone; I'll be in the middle of school and quiet and just bust out with a lyric, its madness!. Today's song on constant repeat is from the Fats Waller's musical Ain't Misbehavin'; the title is Yo Feet Too Big. My favorite phrase

[Chorus] Your feet too big. I can't stand you cuz your feet to big.

But I'll come back to that later. 

So Its almost February so that very important day is practically breathing down our necks; VALENTINE'S DAY (DUN DUN DUUUHHHHH). Valentine's Day is either the ultimate expression for love and devotion whether it be friends or significant others, or its the day where you sit by yourself and rehash the disappointments from past relationship while making poor food choices and watching bad television. Honestly the day itself isn't that bad, we make it out to be soo much more than it is. To those people who have someone special its an awesome day especially for new love. As Blaine said Call me a hopeless romantic but it's my favorite holiday. I think there's something really great about a day where you're encouraged to just lay it all on the line and say to somebody, 'I'm in love with you.(Total Gleek over here but that's another post lol).

For people who don't have someone, it always seems like the people who know they have plans are always the people asking Oh so what are YOU doing for V-Day? Oh your going to be alone? You don't have anyone to hang out with? That's so sad. Cue awkward silence and underlying hatred for that lucky jerk who just has to rub it in. 

But the point of this post is not just to look at how sad someone is or how happy people should tone down their happiness for friends, but knowing what you're looking for and what you will take. There can be a difference between the two; a lot of people who are by themselves are often accused of having too high standards. But having high standards is not what its about; its about what you are willing to take and stand by. Standards are fluid and more often than not built up fantasies and unspoken preferences that really don't mean anything. For example, if I say I want a man that's doing something with his life, what exactly does that mean? What if he volunteers more than he makes money? Do I like him less now? Or for the people who like one skin shade over another. That's crazy, I'm pretty sure skin-tone isn't dependent on the type of person you are. You don't get lighter or darker depending on the bad/good deeds you do, its not a badge of honor; its melanin concentration. Its time for us to be more open to the world and to people because otherwise how are we really going to know what we like if we don't know what we don't like.

But being more open doesn't mean being a fool or just letting the doors swing open to anyone. You have to know what you will accept in regards to yourself and how you are treated but also in regards to your personal conduct. Don't expect a grand romance if all you do is complain and come down on people (men and women both). But this brings me back to the point of the quote earlier. While it might seem funny, and granted the song is pretty hilarious, Fats is saying that he can't be bothered with someone because their feet are too big. Can I help that? Or should I go the original  Cinderella route? (For those who haven't read the REAL version, they actually cut off the step-sisters toes to fit into the shoe...Thanks for PGing that up Disney!) We need to STOP cutting people off for silly stuff but then letting them hang around for bull!

Making excuses like "Oh I can't like him because [insert silly/exaggerated reason here]". Its like playing MadLibs with unattractive qualities. Granted some people do tend to get the short end of the stick romantically through not fault of their own; I mean if its not one thing its another in a long list horrible attributes that just make dating life a chore. But don't be afraid to open yourself up to new things and people. Another thing that you shouldn't do is be the first person to be negative. When everything is going well and especially if your just starting out, don't start planning the end of the relationship. You don't have to have a list of criteria like 'When this happens I'm done'. Its okay to have your limits but that to plan for the WHEN not the IF is the biggest mistake and a huge relationship killer. If you spend all your time waiting for the end of something you'll miss the fun of the ride.
So moral of the story is to not let Valentine's Day to be an unbeatable monster of epic proportion. Enjoy the day, whether its with your friends, your loved ones, or mixing it up single style at a planed event. Be Open and BE LOVED!